So as can tell… lack of blog posts life has been busy!  I have been wanting to update for a few weeks now.  But I have too many emotions that I did not know how to label them.  But in the few weeks of thinking and trying to resolve my thoughts I have decided they are never going to go away.  I think the day of January 12th will forever change my emotions on life for the better and the bad.  January 12th was the day we went in to have Stent’s placed in Cody’s liver and after a long wait we were advised by a defeated doctor he tried everything he could.  We never met the Doctor before but everything we heard was ” He is the BEST!”  And you look him in the eyes and see the defeat you wonder what is next?

Well next for us was a little rough but knew that we were to have a Summer unlike many.  It was come Fall/Winter that we could think about being sick.  That time came so fast, and we did not waste it.  We were able to do things as a Family that we have never been able to do before.  Life was honestly GOOD!  It was a life that others take such advantage of.  We were a normal family.  The whole Summer I knew this was our time and did not have much to worry about.  It is now fall, almost winter(well today is thanks to the lovely snow outside)  We knew our time was coming.

It was a week before Halloween and for family night we decided to carve pumpkins.  Boys full of excitement, and all I could think of was how life was getting too normal for us.  I honestly remember last Halloween and having the same family night, and at the time Cody’s eyes were starting to turn yellow along with his skin he was always tired but we assumed it was due to his work ethic of only doing the best no matter how long it takes, which many days was a very long day.  But life was how it was supposed to be-for the time.  This year to me felt so very eerie.  We all knew we would have the Summer, so constantly I am thinking, when is it our time?  I know its the wrong way to think should be grateful for each day we have but part of me wants  move on to the next phase of our life that I know is going to be so hard but I do better in “Survival Mode”

Then I started to regret my feelings,  I am horrible for wanting the things I did.  But…Cody got his routine blood work and they were not like the many he has gotten in the past.  They were worse.  His MELD Score is 21 two weeks ago was 17, August it was 14.  At first I felt like I had wished this upon him.  But I know that I don’t have those powers but it was shocking! No matter how much I wanted to move to the “next phase” I am wondering if we are really ready.  But after much thought about it.

I think it is our time.

Cody has been feeling the oncoming of what is going to happen.  It depends on the day and what he does but he gets alot more exhausted every day.  More days then not he wanders around feeling dizzy and not feeling good but puts a image on that he feels great.  I only know cause I can tell by the look in his eyes.  I can read it as plain as day.  It’s hard to see.  But with the next blood work this week we will then decide what to do.  Even though January’s Stent placement was not a success…but..they do believe it did do something.  So we are returning for an ERCP to help buy us some time, but I know last time we were told he did not have too many more bile ducts that would allow a scope brush to go thru,  its been 10 months and it may not be possible.  But we are willing to try it.  But the Doctors are trying to make the Quality of life better for longer but we know the inevitable will come.  Its funny how no matter how prepared you are, you never truly are.  The most recent news was just simple blood tests that are very small but it is still totally shocking to us.  So for the next few months we are going to be doing many tests, procedures, scans, dr appointment to get our fill in for the rest of the year…Lets hope they are able to proceed with the procedures Cody’s clotting factors in his blood are really thin right now so a simple cut can cause a bleed out…I am worried cause his blood has been too thin before and he has gotten a bloody nose and we could not get it stopped.

Okay this post has taken me about 2 weeks to write.. I have way too many emotions.  But to sum it up I am excited for the Holidays and being with our family.  2 little boys make it easy to get excited for the Holidays.  With the end of the year is the crummy weather of being cold but luckily we stay inside and hopefully stay away from colds and flu season.  But grateful for each day that we get to be like a normal family and do the things we enjoy.

Well not much has happened in the last week besides Cody’s doc appointment.  He went on his own.  Yea he is a grown man but… well this proves the fact why I go…It took about 4 days for me to find out really the news that had me thrown.  No big deal to Cody but I was a little surprised by it.  Pretty much with Cody feeling so good, we really might just be waiting for him to get Cancer by what the Doc told Cody.  So was quite the blow to me but after thinking and talking about it, I see why Cody is not afraid, I see why he can be so strong about the big C word.   Its part of the process, its what we signed up for?  It would obviously get us closer to the transplant, with that we will be moved to the top to wait.  But Cody took the news knowing that honestly he could feel this good up to the end of this liver’s “life.”  He knows either way.. whatever path we go we will get through it and we will grow from it.

So as for the next doc appts.  1- I will be going with him 2- not till Nov/Dec for the Cancer screenings and MELD Score update.  They do believe that the ERCP that was completed last January (Dr Sandhu who is the best in the west and could not insert the stent in Cody’s liver, and also advised us that the only option is a transplant) That it might have actually helped.  Even though it was a complete failure of not being able to place the stent he scraped the ducts enough to make his liver feel a little better.  So we will more then likely be doing that at the end of the year too.  And it is also needed for come January when we have to be re-approved by our insurance and transplant list (I try not to think about that, their evaluation can determine ALOT!) and the Transplant Board if Cody should be on the transplant list.  (and their evaluation too!  Luckily they are more on Cody’s side then the other.)  SO…Fair warning–you might want to watch out for me come January I will be a wreck!

So till next time Love and Gratitude to all!  Luv A

Yea I can not believe how fast time flies!  A whole month has gone by!  But the only thing that has kept me away from the blog is just having fun!  We have had a Summer that we have not been able to have for a very long time!  We have had fun trips with family, many fun “family nights” with the boys, and still plan on continuing.  With that Cody has been feeling so good.  More often then not I do worry about him.  It seems like more this go around then ever before, I think cause I know what can happen and might happen?  I don’t know this time is different.  But Luckily I have a super power of being able to read Cody’s body language/face to know if “yea I feel great” and what he really means…well actually I think it is just a wife thing maybe?  Kinda crazy we are coming up on 9 years! hard to believe!

About 2 weeks ago Cody created a milestone that he wanted to accomplish.  Anything For A Friend was part of an other great cause for Charity For Children where 4 other charities were involved on putting a race/bike tour for the kids.  Cody decided to take on the 20 Mile Bike Tour!

He finished with flying colors!

I worried the whole time he was gone, I was back at the finish line volunteering but kept a watchful eye out for him.  He came in under 2.5 hours.  I honestly was so proud of him.  I was a little worried at first when he told me he wanted to do it.  but I could feel it in my heart he had something to prove and wanted to.  I call him my Iron Man.  He does it all, and will continue to do it all till he can’t no more.  He knows his time to feel this good may not be around for much longer so he wants to take complete advantage of it so while he is down he can remember what he has accomplished and where to continue building from post-transplant.

So the biking frenzy has begun.  Most nights we will take our bikes down along the trails by the Ogden River and will ride all night.  Our Big Hutton loves it and will never get tired we will go for a couple of hours and we all have a blast!  Our favorite is after the long ride to go to a fun place, Farr’s Ice Cream.  This picture says it all!  Shows each of the cute little monkeys personalities, doing just what they love most, being with their Dad and doing like their Dad.

Huston has figured out now that being stuck with Mommy is not as fun as going with Daddy.  I find myself trying to think of funner ideas, but going with Dad just to run errands is always funner.

As the summer comes to an end Hutton has Started Kindergarten and we know time is going to fly by even faster.  That is why we were glad to have the summer to have the fun that we did.  I don’t think the boys truly understand what the road ahead is for the family, Hutton has asked many different questions.  His main concern is his Dad, he does not want his Dad to be in pain.  Its hard to explain to a 5 year old what is to come, and how his Daddy will get better by struggling first.  But he has such a simple knowledge of the truth, he knows that we were given this challenge so that we can rise above it.  He knows that his one job is to get us thru this hard time.  I have always said it, and will continue to say it to him and now Huston:  “The best medicine you can give Daddy is by being a kid, having fun and continue to have smiles on your faces.  That is what Daddy likes to see and will only help him to feel better.”  It is true those 2 wild monkeys are the light in our dark tunnel.

So for now, Cody has a Check up next week just to chat with the Doc to keep us all updated on how Cody is doing.  Really no news will come from the appointment, besides continue waiting, hopefully not adding anymore time to the wait list!  But the longer the wait the better Cody is feeling for now.

Love you all A

So the other day Cody comes to me with his bucket of pills and empty pill holder asking which ones he takes(he started to forget if he took his pills so we had to take a different route so he would be able to tell if he did, and he has so many that he forgets the times and everything else; so I fill the dispenser weekly.)  Jokingly I said to myself: ” MAN! I am loosing my memory as much as Cody is!  I seem to always get reminded it is empty and he can’t remember how to fill it right.  So filled it..life goes on then I was sitting at work and a thought came to my mind that had me laughing pretty good.  Maybe its only funny to me but I found the comparisons a great way to get a little laughter going 

So you know when a Woman is pregnant, often times they state the Husband is going thru “Sympathy Pains” too.  Well I think I might have me a case of that!!  So lets compare and will also help put a little HUMOR in how Cody is doing lately.

MEMORY: Well Cody’s memory is doing fairly well due the decreasing Ammonia in his body and his lowering MELD score which is currently at a 14! Last January was a 17(which is worse/sicker) So the MELD score shows it a 14 is low and that explains him feeling so well lately, but also means longer wait.  but he has great spirits about it.  We talk often about the journey we have ahead is a little frightening to him and he thinks part of it has to do with him feeling good now so he does not have the “mind set” to want to endure a life threatening surgery.  But he thinks once it is his time to be sick it will be hard but knowing that there is an answer to help his illness that it will be more of a positive then the negative.

So as I said above My mind is loosing it self more often then not… Some days if the head was not attached I would really loose it.

SLEEP:  Common side effects to liver disfunction is sleep apnea, to me it seems like he has been sleeping better.  Cause I am awake more often then not during the night just thinking cause I can’t sleep, which is not like me I used to sleep like a rock the second I hit that pillow.  I think I have more to think about now and worry that it is getting to me.  In the past when Cody was sick I would sleep very well but I now think it was because it was out of pure exhaustion.  So see my thoughts on my sympathy pains???

LEGS:  Well its not really “legs” per say but just this is the one that made me laugh.  Cody recently had found a bump in his calf that has begun to really hurt him.  And actually as I was writing this paragraph the Doc finally called with the Ultrasound results from yesterday and they do not believe it is a Cyst like we were thinking it was(10 years ago Cody had a “Baker Cyst” on his left knee so we wondered if he had an other one on the other leg, even though this time was his calf.)    So now a MRI is in order, this Saturday.  Hopefully they can tell what is is and then we can get on top of it.  They told Cody they may have to remove it, and that is a little risky with Cody’s situation but we will see.

So back to the funny part, yea my legs hurt too?  Yes self induced due to taking the boys swimming and when they turn into little fishes that you worry about their sunscreen and can’t get yours on before they jump back in the pool, you get fried! So one more “sympathy pain for ya

ITCHING: Well with Liver disfunction comes the Jaundice and itchy skin, which has subdued a little due to meds and lower MELD score.  But Yea me getting fried has now caused me to itch.

WEIGHT: well no weight gain like the normal side of “sympathy pains” go for but Cody has been able to maintain his weight and he has been trying to work on keeping his muscle so when he does lose it there will be more there.  And we don’t need to go into detail about my weight but just thought this is a good way to update on Cody and how he is doing.

We had a MRI done in July for a routine Cancer screening and everything was good,  he is still cancer free.  Next one in 6 months.  The MRI showed his bile ducts really blocked but the blood work showed as “normal” as could be for his stage.  And also showed he is feeling good with his MELD score at a 14.

So this post may be funny to only me, but its just funny how I noticed the similarities too much.

Keep ya updated how things turnout.

Thanks to all.. A

So I saw an other AFAF recipient (thanks Smith family for the idea!) post their slide show and thought I should also..cause 1- I barely remembered it from that night and 2- I know many others that are close to us would like to see it again.

Thanks again to all those that truly helped us out that day and everyday since.

Well I should be in bed at the moment, in a matter of a few hours we are headed somewhere that is so much deserved for Cody.  We are going to Lake Powell, and so excited to be with family and just have a great time.  We get the opportunity to have a special vacation to create good memories, to help us endure what is to come.  Yes granted we will be ready to be home( there will be 29 “Anderson’s on one house boat!)  But still so excited about the trip.

Recently Cody went in for a MRI and MRCP – routine procedures while on the wait list.  Pretty much they are cancer scans to verify that there is still no cancer and also to check progress of how the Liver is doing.  It is hard that for those that do find cancer, they have to solve the Cancer before they can be “back on the list”  If something like that happens then you are put on a hold status till cancer free.  Seems rough! We still have not gotten results, but where Cody’s MELD score is lower they focus on patients according to their score and also no news is good news.  But it is still its hard where we will be out of town might miss the call  Other Doc appointments have all turned out good nothing to worry too much about.   And Cody overall feeling okay, he has his days.  I have noticed the fatigue is getting him more now, but he still will wrestle with the boys, take them on four wheeler rides,  and just being the great Dad that he is…Sometimes its hard to watch them cause one day he wont be able to do that…The times I think of it is at nights after family prayer they all have just a sweet moment that will be terribly missed when the time comes that they will be apart for who knows how long.  Breaks my heart for all 3 of them.  I just keep trying to tell myself that he will feel better one day and be able to do it even BETTER in the future to make up for lost time.

Its funny how our life has changed in so many ways these past 8 months I look at it and ponder about it.  One experience that has really changed is how we are treated… I am still trying to decide if all of it is good?  Or Bad?  Its really hard to explain, it is almost frustrating how some people almost act differently to us now??  I don’t know! Just can not explain it.  Cause I think we just are told and/or not told in light of our circumstances?  One thing that I have loved though is knowing how many people do love and care for us.  It is amazing how you can only meet some people just once for an instance and you already care for the well being of them, and them for us.  We have met so many amazing people in our life that are only enriching our lives and many others too.   Sorry such a bum post but wanted to give an update but needed to get my thoughts out??  Love to all, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.  luv always – A

This is a photo of Cody and his best friends, they all came to support Cody at the Event.

I wish this photo was better quality but is not but to us it is still worth more then a million words!    These Men are amazing!  All I had to do was ask, they were there with everything I needed and a lot more.  In the beginning it was really hard for Cody to ask for help with the fundraiser.  But we both knew that we wanted his friends involved I called them and they were so willing to be there for me.  Not only them but their wives/significant others too!  If it was not for them I do not know how parts of the Event would have worked out.  They did it, they helped us have the success that Cody deserved.

Its funny how when I first met Cody I found it so odd that he was still bestest friends with those from his childhood, they were really too good of friends!  They have all been through a lot together and will still be together through thick and thin.  But now after 9 years of knowing them I call them some of my own, best friends.  They were and are there for us.  I remember last time we dealt with Cody’s illness when he was not able to work prior to his big surgery I sat and bawled my eyes out to one of them of my concerns my stress and anxieties over everything and he simply just asked: ” What can I do Amy?  Tell me what you need?  I will do it.”  Simple as that I told him, and he was there.  Not to mention the next time and the time after that, and still last December when this all started unraveling again he was there not alone but in ten fold with all their friends to help Cody through this rough battle that we call life.

So this is a special thanks to those that I know do not want to be named but you know who you are.  You have helped make this journey more bearable knowing you will be there when I need you to be there for Cody thank you from the bottom of my heart.   You are the true definition of what a Friend is.

Lots of Love and Gratitude  -A-

This poem was written for Cody and I.  It was read to us the night of the event, by Brenda Smith (she was the only one that could have held the emotions in)  My dear sweet Aunt/Cousin had it written for us by a friend, just by someone reading my jumbling of words from this blog.

A Softer Way To Land

–Vicki B Wright

*May 31, 2011

June 4th 2011 was a day our family will never forget.

Still after so long I am at lost for words of our day that was so phenomenal.

Our day began with our ward/city breakfast where Marriott-Slaterville pulled together and raised funds by throwing a community fundraiser for us.  At the breakfast also we had Keith Mccord and Dan Pope that came to support us and help give away door prizes made the event so much fun!  They are funny guys that would just feed off each other and also the MC(Will Holley)  It was so much fun, they are great men that took time out of their day and come to help us.

Once the breakfast was over we began the Journey to the Taylor church to start getting ready for our “Anything For A Friend Community Fundraiser”  We started with a blank slate of an empty gym and slowly transformed it to a beautiful decor full of love, with lots of Donated items up for auction, many donated baked goods, and multiple photos of Cody and all his family.

Yes Utah! Allowed us to borrow their CAB

Joe’s Fireman rifle gun

Our “Event” began with a 5K that I had more emotion over it then I thought I ever would.  The gun went off and then off they all go, friends family, people we did not even know in a large group running for Cody, Running for Me and my Family.  Just watching them go down the road I could not take my eyes off it,  it was something I have never seen or felt before.  As the racers began to come in they did not want to be hugged but I could not help my self they were there for us, they were helping us in more ways then they know.

As the night rolled on Dinner had begun.  Within 15 minutes of the event “opening doors” the Gym was FULL.  We began to see many family members that we were able to reunite with that had not seen in awhile.  Many friends from far away that came to be there just for Cody.    It was not long before the Gym was filled to capacity-well more then capacity better phrased as Lack of Oxygen Capacity-  It got to the point of standing room only, it showed us really how many people truly care about us, we are truly blessed.  With in an hour the bake sale had SOLD OUT completely!  Again we are very blessed!

As the night continued Cody and I did not see much of each other between talking to anyone and everyone.  We had so many people there that some of us did not see some people that were there that others did see.  So sorry if that was you!

About the middle of the event was our shinning time Cody and I both had been thinking about this moment for weeks and what we were going to say all we knew is that we needed to thank everyone and hoped they knew it was from the bottom of our hearts.  Honestly we do not know what we said, we just hope we made sense!  We introduced other Anything For A Friend recipients, talked about our journey and what is up ahead.  Then we were given something that will forever be treasured in our home.  All of our family made a quilt with the Anything For A Friend logo in the middle and then every hand print of each of our brothers and sisters.  It was a complete surprise!  I can usually catch on to things like that and I saw multiple items that went to that quilt and I never put it all together!  Thanks to Jody Taylor our dearest friend helping with that also.  I have it in our bedroom now on a quilt rack but when I see it I just want to wrap up in it to feel the same love that I felt that night, but I remind myself that I will get caught wrapped in it by 2 cute very dirty little boys and just decide to keep it safe in the quilt rack and close to my heart.    Thanks to my family for that, it will always be cherished in my heart.

Cyndi Tangren (AFAF recipient), Ann Smith(Mother of AFAF recipient)

Chantelle Thompson Diviine Modestee presented us a check for 2% of their companies gross income for April and May.

A poem was written for Cody (hopefully will be written on the next post)

We then began to “pull the heartstrings” of all our loved ones by beginning a slideshow then to John Canaan who sang 2 beautiful songs.  We then began the Live auction!  I do not know why but that was the hardest time of the night for me.  I felt like we were begging for money during the beginning.  I then decided to find our long lost child Huston that was a wanderer the whole night.  I enjoyed the kids korner with him and then decided to see how everything was going, in the mean time Hutton got my parents to lose all their money on a Basketball hoop, which I heard was a big hit then my parents won due to the guilt trip of many who learned it was for Hutton, he was so excited that they won it!(yea I know my kids have their Grandparents wrapped around their little fingers!)  Then as the night was winding down all auctions ended and we all went outside to the most memorable moment of the night. But in order to start that moment we had to find both kids! Sounds easy but not when you have 2 very independent little boys we were able to find 1 the oldest, but could not find the little one! finally after 30 min of me looking I have the rest of the family looking then the announce over the outside microphone they are looking for a little boy, and it was mine!  So embarrassing!  One thing when you lose a kid but when its the recipients Kid?  Well found him had about an inch thick of dirt in his hair and his clothes are a different color due to all the dirt he had been rolling in.  But we found him.  Sigh! now can finish the night!

Balloon Release

As Cody and I with the boys are standing in the middle, we are surrounded by many many people it was not just a simple little circle, of just family and close friends, it had to keep growing till it couldn’t anymore.  Then at least 10 people deep everyone was surrounding us Some we knew some we didn’t.  Then as we were surrounded John Canaan sang to us: You’re Not Alone.

As you looked around you were able to believe the words, there were many many people that were there for us, we were not going to be doing this journey alone we had many reasons to fight and to come out on top of all this.

John Canaan singing to us “You’re Not Alone”

All those balloons mean that somebody was thinking of us, they gave us their support to help us get through this trial.  So much has not been expressed in this article that I hope to be able to through time, once I can sum up the words to describe it,

Love you all, thank you for everything